Well, its almost time to pack and head west. Brigitte and I are going on a 3-city swing of California starting tomorrow in Sacramento, and ending in San Francisco from September 1st through the 5th.

I originally thought this would be our time to Wow the audience of the Love and Money Summit, but that was postponed until December.  Instead we’ll be wowing the locals like Dr. Brenda Wade and Darren Jacklin with our super good looks, fabulous sense of humor, and my wife’s incredible cooking talent.  Might as well have some fun with those non-refundable airline tickets, huh . . ?

I just dropped our cat Mr. Pookey off at “Uncle Steve’s” for a week, told the Post Office to stop delivery, and told the neighbors to feed our  Piranhas (goldfish, actually . . . they just eat like Piranhas).  Then we started to pack.

Vitamins and green drink powder.  Check.  Warm clothing & toiletries.  Check.  Extra copies of my book.  Check.  A loaf of frozen bread in the suitcase that will look like a bomb passing through Airport X-ray.  Check.  Small battery-powered Radionics health machine that looks like a bomb.  Check.

What’s with airport security anyway? In 1987 I traveled all the way from the US to London on a British Airways flight with a group of Acupuncturists. We used needles on each other the whole way, and were incensed if anybody even questioned what they were for!  Times have surely changed.

Now we bend over and say thank you.  The only way someone can make sure he or she is never hassled is to wear sandals, a tunic or Burqa, and talk with a middle-eastern accent!   Over 55?  Gray or balding? Use a walker?  Watch out.  You may run afoul of the “no-profiling laws” and be patted down, cavity searched, and detained for questioning about your last trip to Norway to visit your dying Aunt Gretchen.

Oh yeah . . . have a nice vacation!

(I know, I know.  I’ve probably been tagged by Big Brother snooping from the bowels of of the N.S.A. because I used the word “Burqa.”  OK. You want me?  Come and get me!  Burqa. Burqa Burqa burqa burqa burqa burqa burqa.)

Burqa!

By the way, don’t show this blog post to any airport folks.  They might not think it’s funny.  They didn’t even think it was funny when my Mother-in-Law (a known terrorist) flew from Germany to Atlanta, Georgia for our wedding packing her own flour and sugar.

She’s very picky about her baking and insisted on bringing her own ingredients to make Apple Strudels.  Apparently the airport security was a bit freaked out, but let her through anyway.  When I asked my wife to tell her to “leave her drugs at home next time,” she shot back, “Drugs?  Pah!  Those packages were marked very clearly ‘Flour’ and ‘Sugar’!”

I guess they didn’t trust her . . .

Going to ride my unicycle now for charity . . . catch my other excursions at www.1000mileproject.org. Not taking the unicycle this trip, but I’ll still be doing Logical Soul Talk on Tuesday the 31st and checking messages.

Have a great Labor Day weekend!!