Archive for Psychology
Budget Woes: An Awareness Problem?
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I ran out of money this month. And last month. And the one before that. That’s really all I knew . . . until just yesterday when I sat down and actually did a budget.
What’s scary is how long I kept myself from knowing how much I actually owed on credit cards, lines of credit, and even how much I needed for basic monthly expenses that never change. You see, I have this problem. When money is coming in on a regular basis, I pay attention to the amounts, pay all the bills, and budget whatever I have for other things I want.
The problem arises when money is NOT coming in regularly. Its at these times I tend to go unconscious. I stop entering stuff into the checkbook, and stop looking at the items on my credit card statement except for the minimum payment. My reasoning in the past has been – I’m going to borrow money to pay the bills – no matter what – so I’ll pay attention to the amounts when I have the money to pay them. Tomorrow . . .
I also figured we would never starve because my wife has a good job. And that’s true. But the cost of my lack of consciousness has been huge. The conscious belief that “Universe will provide” suddenly clashed with some hidden decisions based on an inner feeling of lack and helplessness.
About a month ago, this Marley’s Ghost came back to haunt me big time. The actual pain caught up to me when, after discussing the matter with my wife (who is very frugal and good with money, by the way) hit the ceiling.
I realized I had a problem, and promptly stopped. Cold turkey. No more credit cards. I’m closing my line of credit and cutting up the cards. I’m actually even writing down all my debts and expenses and working on a plan to PAY them!
With little money coming in, this is not easy. But not knowing is deadly!!
My resolution is to do this budget thing the way I used to . . . with daily numbers, tracking expenses, using monthly budget envelopes for cash, cutting up the credit cards or LOC’s, and start tackling this mountain of debt. For the latter, I’m focused on generating more income through my books and course, and with private sessions.
It will take time. And dedication. And the continued love and understanding of a fantastic mate. And it WILL be done!
Logical Soul Features Dr. Brenda Wade
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Dr. Brenda Wade has agreed to write the Foreword to the soon-to-be-published The Logical Soul.
Dr. Wade is a clinical psychologist, a well-known television personality, and a popular public speaker who lectures widely across the country. She is the relationship contributor for NBC’s Today Show, and heads up the Love and Money Summit that was first held in Savannah, Georgia last September. I was one of the speakers at that event.
Dr. Wade reports that the Logical Soul(tm) sounds similar to some work she does, and wants to do a session soon, as well as write the Foreword. She also requested having me speak at some of her future workshops and seminars in California and elsewhere, and I readily agreed.
I also spoke with Brenda on the phone the day my Mom passed away, and she was very supportive and helpful in my time of sadness. Its a great honor to know Dr. Wade, and I’m blessed to have her on our team!
The Logical Soul: A New Paradigm
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Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)
The Logical Soul ™ represents a new paradigm – or world view – about the way we look at our so-called “subconscious mind,” the field of motivation, and the way we transform ourselves from survival-based human beings needing therapy to what Abraham Maslow called “self-actualized” humans.
Maslow said that the level of needs of an individual governed their outward motivation. For someone who did not have all his or her survival needs met, this is where they would remain . . . and act towards the world and others in a manner that reflected this inner need.
With the Logical Soul (tm), un-met survival needs are found, accessed, and changed, such that individual human evolution can take place more quickly and effortlessly. While this technique fills a very great need and its results are astounding, however, its widespread use may take a while to become established.
The reason? Established paradigms will not allow it to spread too quickly, if at all. A paradigm – or world view – when accepted by most members of a population, tend to become entrenched in that same population, and remains entrenched until usurped by another.
For illustration of this phenomenon, let’s look at what happened to Swiss watches . . .
For centuries, the Swiss had a corner on the watch-making industry and market. “Swiss-made” was synonymous with quality watch-making, and no one outside of Switzerland dared to challenge those craftsmen . . . until someone did.
Sometime around the mid-1900s’ a technology called “digital timekeeping” became possible. It was only logical, therefore, that the Swiss should capture and utilize this rising technology because, after all, they were the captains of that industry!
That’s not what happened. The Swiss craftsmen could see no value in digital watches, and expressed disdain for anything that didn’t have little gears and a clock face – their field of expertise.
The problem was that digital watches were here to stay. They kept better time, had fewer working parts, and came at a much lower cost. The Swiss, unaware that a fundamental change had just taken place, ignored the chance to capitalize on this change. Instead, the Japanese captured it and never looked back.
Today, even quality watches are digital, and Swiss watches are more of a novelty than a necessity. The watch industry there never quite recovered from the paradigm shift that invaded their little hamlets.
Like that, the Logical Soul ™ is based on a different paradigm (”holistic”) rather than the existing – and dominant – “medical model” followed by most doctors and therapists. Consequently, it will require more effort to educate people over time of the excellent and far-reaching benefits.
The “holistic model” of care and self-actualization, however, requires a bit of education – and most people tend to accept the norm rather than expend effort to learn a new approach.
The shift, however, is taking place. It is only a matter of time before there is a paradigm shift in the population and alternatives become mainstream.
In future posts I will explore the rise and fall of the medical model and other paradigms, and how their dominance affects not only your health care costs, but all aspects that are connected to it, like politics.
More Self-Sabotage Time Management Tips
Posted by: | CommentsInformation Overload Tip: IGNORE Massive Action Advice!
You probably have heard your favorite success or Internet Marketing guru tell you to take “massive action” or some variation of that advice.
They tell you to have written goals, clear goals, then take massive action along the path to getting there. And they are right: it still amazes me that most people stumble through life with little self-direction, preferring instead that life throw a bunch of problems at them…
So, if you are anything like me (i.e., goal-directed), you do everything you can to follow their advice and TAKE that “massive action . . . because, after all, they ARE successful, right?

Information Overload?
The problem is that most of us are VERY UNSKILLED at taking massive action. Trying then leads to confusion, loss of productivity, lack of focus and LOTS of stress and self-sabotage. While its great to have specific goals, too many at once can lead to instant burnout.
I found it pays to just take ONE STEP at a time!
I make a small list everyday of items that I can accomplish. Even if it is a single item. I write it down in my Day-Timer (yes, I still use them) and do my best to get it done. If I don’t, I write it again on the next day’s page – or whenever I feel I can best get to it.
Even if you do only 4 small, tangible action items each day, you can accomplish miracles. By tracking your progress weekly and monthly, you will be excited about your goal and what you have accomplished.
The strange thing about this simple technique is that it “quiets” my mind. When I am working on a task, I don’t worry about all of the other things that need to get done. I can put all of my focus into that one task and be positive that whatever I am doing is something that will move my business one step closer to my goal.
Something that is often overlooked (I know I did) is the importance of time management skills for entrepreneurs.
Remember, Self-sabotage can be disastrous if you are the only “self” in the company! Learn to minimize it, and live your success!
Self-Sabotage and Time Management
Posted by: | CommentsOne of the biggest ways I sabotage myself - and maybe you do too – is through the sloppy use of time. Since time is the unit of measure used by most modern civilizations, the saying “time is money” has merit.
I’ll be the first to admit, however, that I find the concept of budgeting time like some bean counter in an accounting office frustratingly absurd. I mean, whose time is it anyway?!! If I want to waste a ton of it, so be it!! Meetings? Appointments? Being prompt? Forget it . . . I mean really…!
. . . Slam!
That was the sound of my customers, friends, and everyone else I come in contact with, leaving. Did I just sabotage my chances with doing business with them? Getting to know them better? Being of service to them – and them to me? You betcha.

Time Management Self-Sabotage
Like it or not, time coordinates our activities and relationships on this planet. While the dreaded timepiece (watch, clock, PDA, cell phone) is a constant reminder that we are “running out” of it, time also gives us the ability to rendezvous with friends and lovers, and create structure in our lives. Even our cavemen ancestors used it to measure the nights and days, seasons, and lifetimes. It was their connection to survival and to the gods.
Today we have that lovely invention – the computer - that thinks for us, remembers things for us, and does tons of work for us. It also manages our time for us, right?
Wrong! While we may FEEL like we’re getting more done, our computers keep giving us more to do . . . consequently they WASTE more time than they save.
If you’re anything like me, you love your computer because it gives you the illusion that you can get a lot of things done at one time. It makes you feel powerful. Productive. All-seeing, all-knowing, and omnipresent, right?
The truth is your computer can only complete one task at a time . . . it just does it much faster than you can.
Don’t believe me? Try this…
Open up as many programs as you can on your computer. What happens? It will come to a grinding halt and you will probably end up re-booting it and wondering what happened.
What happened is you proved that your computer sucks at multi-talking. The truth is it can only process a single instruction at a time. It is an illusion to believe otherwise.
The same thing happens when you try to do too many projects at once. Like your all-knowing computer you, too, will crash and burn.
In the past, if you were to ask me what project I am working on, I would hem, haw, and throw out a laundry list of activities. Recently, however, I have learned to focus and tell people the EXACT project I’m in.
I’ve also found that about 90% of people I come in contact with ALSO have that laundry list of projects they are working on. This makes me a bit sad because I know the chances of them finishing any single one of those is almost non-existent.
Just as your computer comes to a grinding halt when you make it work on too many things, so will you. You will simply end up frustrated, suffering from information overload and even worse… without a business that generates revenue. No product no revenue, right?
How much money are those TEN projects that are half finished making you? My guess is none.
Suggestion: Focus on ONE project that you can finish and create income or a cash flow. Simply obliterate information overload TODAY and STOP the self-sabotage!!
If the time-wasting persists, you may have underlying hidden decisions that are dividing your priorities and causing the logjam. Its easy enough to find out what these are, change the decisions, and get some focus back into your life.
Whatever you do, put the blinders on and decide in the next 5 minutes to take ONE course of action for the next 2-3 hours. Then choose again. Then again, etc.
Then rest. Your day is successfully completed.
Self-Sabotage and Anxiety
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Anxiety Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage manifests itself in different ways. One of those ways is through general anxiety and panic attacks. Symptoms are many and varied:
Ever feel frustrated and overwhelmed to the point of losing your breath? Ever have a feeling like the world is crashing in around you and there’s nothing you can do? Do these symptoms carry over into your business, work and relationships, causing things to blow up or fall apart?
You’re not alone.
Sudden anxiety – and the so-called panic attacks – are based on organic decisions that boil down to (believe it or not) our instinct to survive. Fears like fear of falling and of loud noises came about, in part, because they were related to causes of death, pain and suffering on the part of our ancestors. Fears like these were encoded into our DNA, and are hard to shake. Professor Walter B. Cannon in the 1920’s referred to this as the “fight or flight” syndrome – a tendency to either run away or fight when faced with danger.
While the hard-wired fear of falling and loud noises may be there, our conscious minds play a part in that we create stories and make up stuff that may or may not be true – but are related, in part, to our hard-wired fears. We may be about to lose our jobs or marriage, for example, and this feels like falling. Although there is no immediate danger, our survival instinct kicks in as if there were.
No matter how rational we might want to be, our subconscious memories continue to touch the live-wires called our DNA, nervous system, and endocrine system. Once triggered, our body reacts as in a real emergency and shuts down all but the most essential survival functions. If this happens enough, we become “stuck” in this pattern and our organs, systems – and our potential for happiness – burn out quickly.
Anxiety can be channeled, however, by using a few simple steps. Through conscious awareness, energies that surge through the body that cause the heart to race and palms to get sweaty can also create the opposite effect. Techniques like meditation, Logical Soul(tm), and Panic Away can stop the panic and bring calmness and peace back to the body and mind.
Anxiety can effectively destroy any or all aspects of your life and happiness. Take care of rampant “fight or flight” reactions, and your full potential for life and happiness return.
Self-Sabotage and Money Issues
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Sunset in Key West: Happier Times?
I just found out I lied to my wife about money, and I really feel sick about it!
It wouldn’t be so bad, except that I see myself as this stand-up guy just dripping with integrity . . . (OK, that may sound a bit much, but something like that anyway).
Many months ago, my wife (the one with the real job) paid off a credit card debt and I promised that I wouldn’t generate more. At the time, I fully intended to keep that promise. In reality, I didn’t; I wrote a check on a line of credit we had in order to cover some (what I considered to be necessary) bills without consulting with her. This was such a classic no-no that I even blocked the previous promise I made out of my memory! I simply forgot my promise!!
My (not-so) evil twin (low self) apparently had made a hidden decision that our primary objective was to keep the bills paid. The consequences are that I lost my feeling of integrity. Now both I and my (no so) evil twin feel terrible; sick to my stomach, like my stomach just filled with bile . . .
As another consequence of this action, I made another promise to Brigitte to attend Debtors Anonymous meetings on a regular basis and we both signed up for Dave Ramsey classes, i.e., Financial Peace University. I want to strongly address this personal blind spot on a recurring basis in order to change the unconscious behavior pattern.
I also had a heart-to-heart talk with my Ku (lower self, in charge of memory) and asked him to support me in this new decision. Muscle testing confirmed he agrees, and the program has been reset.
I hope to report back to you with better news as time goes on.
Overcoming Self-Sabotage in the New Year
Posted by: | CommentsThe new year is upon us, and the “resolution bug” bites us with the promise of glorious health, grand riches, and perfect relationships. Then, sometime before March, reality sets in.
You wanted to lose that 20 pounds, get the ideal job, find the perfect life mate, and get out of debt. But somehow progress is slow or nonexistent, and before you know it, Thanksgiving arrives and you have nothing to show for your (by now) forgotten resolutions.
Why is this? Why do we sabotage ourselves? Why does self-sabotage slowly ruin our best-laid plans?? Is it laziness? Partly. Lack of willpower? Might be. Forces beyond our control? Could be.
The main culprit, however, is far more subtle and powerful than we could imagine. This culprit? . . . . a second “self.”
That’s right. There is another “self” in there with you! While your so-called ego self is the one who speaks and makes logical decisions (and resolutions), it is powerless without its twin, the inner self.
This inner self (or force) was even given a name by the ancients: Ka by the Egyptians, Chi by the Chinese, Ki by Japanese, and Ku or Unihipili by the Hawaiian Kahunas. They speak of this self as one who does not speak, but embodies the senses, memory, and driving force required to accomplish anything.
Even modern brain scientists understand the profound impact of this silent self. Jill Bolte Taylor, PhD wrote in her book My Stroke of Insight how her own stroke experience revealed the power of her right brain, and that this entity exhibited, in her words, “different values” than those of her left brain self.
I’ve discovered that we can apply Newton’s Third Law of Motion to relationships with other people . . . and with our hidden self! This Law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
By ignoring the integrity of this being, i.e., NOT treating this being as a separate and distinct self, we westerners are missing half (or more) of our ability to accomplish our goals and dreams. So long as we try to program, hypnotize, manipulate, or otherwise control “our subconscious,” it will just fight back.
This self knows ALL our tricks, remember? The “equal and opposite reaction” is this: the more we ignore this being and try to reach our goals without his or her support, the less certain we will succeed.
So long as we see ourselves as “individuals,” i.e., undivided beings, we will continue to buy into the illusion that this hidden self is really only a part of what we consider “us,” and has no abilities outside of what we “program” it to do!
Begin to speak the language of your hidden self and you can begin to influence its behavior. Find out what he/she needs, then act to give that. Otherwise, you will always be a “victim” of self-sabotage since this hidden self is not on board with your wishes!







