[EZINE] This Men-Women Thing . . .

logical soul ezine

 

 

Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #25 – June 27, 2017

My wife Soma and I are working on a book, this one entitled Men Are Stupid, Women Are Crazy… its a working title, but that pretty much covers the theme.   

We committed to spending one hour a day brainstorming and recording the session.  Today it started.  

The session was hard – not because of the actual work involved – but because we communicate so differently.  She talked on and on about addressing women who totally ‘get’ her.  Then she added that women have their own understanding, and it only takes a few words between them to get things that men will never understand.  

That’s just crazy talk.  But she’s right.

I will never understand.  I also believe most other men won’t either . . . that is until we break the “code” that keeps the sexes apart and start accepting the other as they are, instead of projecting out own expectations onto them.  

Hey men:  you and I  will never understand a woman’s “emotional logic” anymore than we can fly by flapping our arms.   While we complain that women are never ready for our intimate advances (they “need too much foreplay”), they complain we are too slow when it comes to EMOTIONAL readiness, i.e., we men need too much “emotional foreplay”!  

Are men stupid?  Only if we deny this problem exists.  

Soma and I have been through all of this in our 24 years of being together.  And it never gets boring to hear that all couples – young or old – have the same barriers to success in love.  Unlike many other couples, however, we have been able to (mostly) work though our difficulties by coming up with a viable communication tool – Logical Soul® – that helps us clear up stuff that would normally tear us apart.   

By sharing our experiences and our tools, we are better able than most to help couples not only adjust to each other, but to become closer and closer as time goes on.  Soma, in fact because of this work, is my best friend, and has been since we’ve been together.  

You and yours can have this too.   

More next week,

Michael

 

Michael

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[EZINE] The Rabbit Died . . .

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #24 – June 20, 2017

Actually, the little thing was murdered yesterday . . . by our male cat, Sammy, who finds joy in rounding up small critters.  

Sammy was immediately scolded and exiled to the back room . . . his “time out” place.  

It was not a good day.  I spent the next hour trying to save the baby rabbit before he finally succumbed to his wounds.  I now have him enshrined for viewing in his cardboard open casket . . . ready for burial as soon as the rain stops.  

There is a silver lining, however.  Baby rabbits, small moles and a few unfortunate lizards are the only thing our cats catch these days . . . ever since we took a few precautions.  

How to Protect Birds and Other Critters

While I love our two ragdoll cats, I also understand they are hunters by nature, and won’t stop no matter what we say or do. My wife and I were able to find something, however, that has at least saved a goodly number of the flying prey . . . 

Its called CatBib.  You simply attach the bib to the front of their collar using the built-in velcro, and this disrupts their bird-catching rhythm.  

And hey – it works!  Last year our cats caught dozens of birds.  This year they caught only one – a wounded baby bird that apparently fell from its nest.  All the other flying critters are very happy to now visit our bird feeders again.  And the cats don’t seem to mind the inconvenience.  

I just wanted to share this little tip, mainly because I figure the more birds we save, the healthier the planet will be.  

So pass this one along to other folks with cats, and let’s all make a difference.  

To the Birds,

Michael

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[EZINE] Caution: This Will Eat You Up – Part 2

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #22 – June 6, 2017

The Blob Got Us…

Last week, I was unable to send out the Ezine to over 95% of my list due to a database problem on my server.  So, to those of you who missed the exciting Part 1 of this series, I’ve created a link where you can still read it…

—–> Click Here To See Last Weeks Ezine Article <—–

In the previous Ezine I discussed media as “The Blob” and how it can tie up your time, rot your brain and create an addiction that is only now beginning to be recognized.   

The main symptom of media addiction is “brain warp.” The language centers of the brain get turned upside down.  while some might consider this an evolutionary advantage (particularly in Millennium group culture), many start losing the ability to make verbal distinctions and utilize critical thinking.

Memes

A meme is more than just a cute picture saying on Instagram.   In his book Virus of the Mind (Integral Press, Seattle, 1996), author Richard Brodie defines the meme as a “mind virus” and gives extensive examples of how these viruses only benefit themselves – not human beings.  Memes can warp your thinking to no one’s advantage save the meme’s.

We currently live in a world of toxic – and dangerous – memes.  By simply even giving your opinion in a public gathering, you run the immediate risk of being labeled either a rightist homophobic, Islamophobic fascist climate-change-denying deplorable, or a leftist commie, tree-hugging, thumb-sucking, femi-nazi liberal. 

All such labels are memes.  And all are destructive. 

The Remedy 

The first step to wiping out dangerous memes is to first recognize them for what they are – simple thought patterns knitted together and anchored to some deep emotional need or attachment.  Once you recognize your need to “march” or “protest” as an infection of your brain, it will be much easier to let it go.  

Letting go of memes does NOT mean letting go of who you are.  Only you can make that link, since the meme is only a phantom program that traps your deepest emotions into thinking THIS THING will destroy (or save) the world!

If you are protesting Trump, for example, because he’s “destroying the planet,” take a moment to look at what actually drives you.  Love for the planet?  Perhaps.  A fear of his “insanity”?  Maybe.  A need to feel significant?  More likely. 

The causes of memes are always internal in nature, not external events. 

We all want to feel significant, make a difference and save the whales, children, and planet.  We also want to save the country, drive away invaders and be left alone.  Whatever drives you, look at what actions are most effective in achieving this drive, does it involve a Win-Win solution (as opposed to zero-sum)  AND what is most important to you:  you spouse and family – or your perceived “mission.” 

My mission back in the mid 1990’s was emotionally driven to expose the IRS and bring government into alignment with the Constitution.  My whole being was wrapped up into seeing “justice” being done.  That, and being left alone.

It didn’t work.  The IRS is still going strong, government is still corrupt, I was never left alone, and nothing I did made any difference . . . except that I went broke during that period and put a big strain on my marriage. 

Fortunately, I woke up, let go of the fear, and started playing the “good citizen game” just for kicks.  This, in turn, allowed me to start focusing on my REAL mission, i.e., wiping out all virulent memes in the world with Logical Soul® through books, courses, and training events.

While even this latest mission also seems impossible, I can still be a voice crying in the wilderness to “Let It Go”  and be happy!  All I can do is chip away – and enjoy the chipping.  And you can help: start with yourself.

To being free and happy,

Michael

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[EZINE] Caution: This Will Eat You Up

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #21 – May 30, 2017

The Blob

The Blob (1958) was Steve McQueen’s first movie.  A meteorite crashes near a rural Pennsylvania town, disgorging a big, black, gooey mass of stuff they called “the blob” that oozes out of its ship and starts spreading far and wide.   

The Blob begins to envelop and consume anything it encounters, becoming larger and larger, until it threatens to take over the whole community.

The blob still exists;  its called “media.”

Consider the reach of outlets like 24/7 News, Twitter (think Donald), Facebook and Netflix.  These four alone could easily take up 90% of your day or more.  When you add the billion of lesser-known social and media outlets, you have little time to accomplish anything else! 

Many people simply get around this little time inconvenience by incorporating media into their business or job.  A couple of my friends are “YouTube placement consultants” who stayed glued to that media all day, every day.   

If you’re like me and my wife, you spend a considerable amount of time surfing the movies on Amazon, Netflix and more. Yesterday we also watched several hours of YouTube videos… because we just just bought a Sony DVD player with online WiFi capability.  Now we can!!  

Woo Hoo.  Now we don’t have time to do anything productive . . . like talk to each other . . . except to say “pass the remote.” 

And we’re senior citizens; we should actually know better.  Most younger folks have grown up with the “media blob” and are glued to their phones all day, and half the night.  I recently saw a young couple at a restaurant silently TEXTING one another, speaking only to verify the other one got their text . . .   

As The Donald would say:  “Sad.”  

But I’m through talking about this now, since I’m starting to sound like the old man next door shouting “Get off my grass!!”  

Sadder. 

Brain Warp Symptoms 

The symptoms of modern brain warp has to do with the language centers of the brain, i.e., they stop developing.  Instead of using full sentences, you begin to lapse into the world of emoticons and “thumbwords.”

N if u dnt stp u wl degnr8 nto a mltn mass v gu!  😎

If you’re (i.e., ur) one of the fortunate few who don’t understand the message above, there’s still hope for you.  Otherwise, you – like me – are too far gone…

I’m just sayin’ . . . 

The Remedy 

The cure for brain warp is simple, but not easy.  Stop doing the same old crap over and over again and get a life.  

Seal your TV/DVD remotes in a plastic bag, submerge them in a plastic container of water, then put the container in the freezer.  Then unplug the cell phone, TV and other interruptions and go outside.   

Got it?  That’s great.  Now you’re living in the 1950’s.  Go to the fence and share some gossip with the neighbors….  what? They’re too busy on their phones?  Too bad. 

Well, there’s always movies.  Go ahead.  Thaw out the remote and watch Castaway, Wild, Into The Wild, The Way Back, or Kon-Tiki.  Then pretend you’re along the journeys with ’em.

That’s about as close as I‘ve been able to get to really “roughing it” these days.  Maybe you can do better.  

If not, there’s always The Blob…

To your ultimate liberation, 

Michael

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[EZINE] How To Read Anyone Like A Book

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #20 – May 23, 2017

The Open Secret

Want to know how to read someone like a book?  Watch.  Ask questions.  And really listen. 

That’s right.  It’s an open secret that – to read someone correctly – you only have to watch and listen.  Then they will reveal things they never told anyone . . . even themselves!  I discovered this after interviewing hundreds of guests on my radio program, as well as after doing sessions with thousands of people.  

But listening – really listening – is a natural talent that has been trained right out of us. 

I learned this the hard way as a child and adolescent growing up in Savannah, Georgia.  I remember being a part of a family gathering where they were telling stories from the wartime and I noticed that Aunt Floozie (not her real name) was very fidgety and nervous. So, naturally, I spoke up in my innocence and said Aunt Floozie was really afraid of that topic. 

First, a look of shock came over everyone, Aunt Floozy denied she was afraid of anything, and I was quietly ushered out of the room to “go play with the other kids!” 

I never forgot how I disrupted the room, however.  I didn’t mean to.  Didn’t want to.  I was only doing what I’d been told, i.e., “Always tell the truth.” Then I was confused when I didn’t get praise for doing what I was told.  

It was after events like this that I finally came to realize that adults didn’t really mean what they said when it came to “the truth.”  They only wanted the truth when it pertained to something I had done wrong.  That’s it.  All the “adult conversations” apparently were off limits to this requirement. 

As I grew into my late teens,  I became increasingly schizophrenic in trying to decide when the truth actually applied to who, what, when, or how much?  I discovered this southern “politeness” thing meant that most subjects were off limits to discussion, and that I was expected to be polite, rather than truthful, i.e., “Go along to get along…”

My mother’s favorite line came from Gone With The Wind, when Scarlett O’Hara proclaimed “I’ll think about that tomorrow!”

But somehow “tomorrow” never came.

 

 

I Got Cured

After decades of soul searching, meditation, group therapies, self-discovery workshops and “working on myself,”  I finally am at the place where I can see what that silly southern facade was all about, i.e., a bunch of dysfunctional people putting on a brave face simply because they knew of no other way to be!

Now my wife and I are committed to speaking the truth to each other and to others.  I also found that, by telling the truth, I didn’t have to remember much (it turns out that lies have a way of coming out unless you tell more lies…)

I still, however, often rely on my inherited southern diplomacy to soften the blow when its a subject of deep importance to the listener.    I can do this because I learned about “divine listening”…

—–> See the Divine Listening Post and Video <—–

You (or your Soul) already know the truth.  But do you have the courage to actually look for it?  Hear it?  Then acknowledge or speak it?  If you can do this – without anger, hate or revenge in your heart – congratulations.  You will have a happier life. 

—-> Click Here to see my Divine Listening Post & Video <—–

To your success,

Michael

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[EZINE] Everything Is Negotiable

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #19 – May 16, 2017

The Lesson

Everything in life is a negotiation – whether you are buying a car, asking for the TV remote, or trying to convince that special person to marry you.  Here are a few powerful tips to help make your efforts more fun and productive.

An early business mentor of mine was Marshall Thurber.   He was retired as a millionaire at age 30, and hired the likes of inventor/architect R. Buckminster Fuller and quality guru W. Edwards Deming as personal coaches.  Marshall also mentored Robert Kiyosaki (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad), Tony Robbins, and a host of other successful authors and entrepreneurs.

He was also one of the best damn negotiators I ever met.

I had the good fortune to experience Mr. Thurber’s unique teaching style in 1988-89 in Atlanta, as part of a select group who (naturally) paid him big bucks to mentor them.

In negotiations, Marshall was golden.  When buying or selling businesses (his specialty), he would often take prospects to the ball park and talk about everything but the deal.  This, and his  strategic use of artificial scarcity mixed with personality, often sealed the deal in no time.

“My board of directors shut this offer down tonight, but I can stretch that if you give me your decision by tomorrow morning…” mumbled Marshall, between bites of his hot dog. 

He then finished his hot dog without a word, waiting for the prospect to bite… and they usually did. 

The 7 Keys To Negotiation

Marshall taught using games.  He has us play in small groups, with lessons coming organically, based on our own experience.  These games centered around one or more of the following “7 Steps to Powerful Negotiations”

  1. Start with an attitude of Win-Win.
  2. Focus.  Know your Prospect’s needs, wants and dreams.
  3. Offer them what they want (or dream).
  4. Let them experience the dream using words, pictures, or the actual experience itself.  Also let them understand what may happen if the DON’T take the offer.  Repeat (when appropriate) in different ways or at different times.
  5. Create scarcity, either real or artificial.
  6. Ask for a Decision.
  7. Be willing to walk away.

While I thought I knew the concept of Win-Win, for example, it wasn’t until I played the game “Win as Much as You Can” that I came to realize I was still operating on the old win-lose or zero-sum game as before.  By playing a game, I learned more in 30 minutes than I had in a lifetime before.

—–>  Check Out Marshall’s TED Talk <——

(I actually used some of Marshall’s ideas when creating the Logical Soul®.  By “negotiating” with your subconscious self, you can actually defused raw emotions and create a path to success on many levels.  Check out my presentation back in 2014 on how this happens.)

If you are interested in learning more about Marshall’s methods, reply to this email and let me know.  If enough people respond, I may be able to put together a game-learning workshop and/or online course.

To your success,

Michael

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[EZINE] Proof: Lolly-Gagging Helps Your Work

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #17 – May 2, 2017

Getaway Facts

Want to be more productive at work or on the job? 

Take time off this summer!

As I write this, I’m also preparing to head out to my Tennessee log cabin for a few days of rest  (and the usually “must be done” tasks that keep me going up there every so often).   I enjoy this getaway time, and my ability to focus on my work and family is enhanced because of my “alone time.” 

Are you taking advantage of all that’s available to you?  Most Americans don’t. 

According to author Tanya Mohn in a 2014 Forbes Magazine article:

More than forty percent of American workers who received paid time off did not take all of their allotted time last year, despite the obvious personal benefits, according to “An Assessment of Paid Time Off in the U.S.” commissioned by the U.S. Travel Association, a trade group, and completed by Oxford Economics.

Americans left an average of 3.2 paid time off days unused in 2013, totaling 429 million unused days for U.S. workers.

According to the study, most managers recognize the benefits taking time off from work provide to employees: higher productivity, stronger workplace morale, greater employee retention, and significant health benefits. But nearly 34 percent of employees surveyed indicated that their employer neither encouraged nor discouraged leave, and 17 percent of managers considered employees who take all of their leave to be less dedicated, according to the survey’s findings.

And four in ten American workers said their employer supported time off, but their heavy workload kept them from using their earned days.

Idea:  Do Less; Accomplish More

Ms. Mohn went on to add that, despite the myriad benefits of taking time off,  American workers usually succumb to the pressure of self-imposed and guilt-laden reasons why they can’t take the time off to which they are entitled.  Adam Sacks, president of the Tourism Economics division of Oxford Economics, said “Leaving earned days on the table harms, not helps, employers by creating a less productive and less loyal employee.

Bottom Line?  TAKE that vacation this summer!  You will do yourself – and your business or company – a HUGE favor!!

To your success,

Michael

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[EZINE] Great News for Coaches and Consultants

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #14 – April 11, 2017

Calling All Coaches…

For the past several years, it has been my goal to bring a steady stream of practical solutions to coaches and consultants.  Most of these had to do with marketing tips that allow coaches to focus on what they do best – coaching – and not having to spend time marketing and selling their services.

On Saturday, I spoke with a very special person about this.  His name is Joshua Rozario, he lives and works in San Jose, California, and has developed some pretty sophisticated ways to provide low-cost marketing and networking for coaching/consulting professionals.

The interesting thing about Josh is that he comes from a marketing and tech background, and found that the coaching field is wife open when it comes to marketing.  

“There are very few reasonably-priced choices where a coach can market his or her services” he explained to me.  “I just found out that, with little effort on my part, I can make a huge difference in allowing a coach to focus on what he or she does best – coaching.” 

Josh has recently set up a website that offers an amazing assortment of marketing tools for the non-marketing professional.  so if you are stuck trying to figure out how to attract and keep clients, he can help you do this . . . and for a price that every coach can afford without taking out a loan!

But don’t go to his website and sign up just yet.  I’m negotiating a discount for all my subscribers so you’ll soon be able to get in at a fraction of the cost.   Stay tuned – I’ll try to get this done by next week if possible…

To your success,

– Michael

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[EZINE] Something You Need To Do Tonight…

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #13 – April 4, 2017

What Successful Couples Do…

Take a break . . . 

Together. 

I don’t know many couples who simply live a life of leisure and have little to do except fun stuff.  Most of us work, and work hard. 

What Soma and I try to do now (since she reminds me I’m pretty bad at this actually), is to take time out together to go to a nice restaurant, take in a movie … at an actual theater… or simply sit across each other on the couch to give each other a foot massage.

– Michael

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[EZINE] 10-Minute Couples Therapy, Part 2

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Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #12 – March 28, 2017

A Brief Apology…

I promised Part 2 for last week, and was unable to send out the E-zine.  For this, I am sorry.  Over the past 3 weeks I’ve been back and forth to either in the hospital or Emergency Room for an acute prostate infection that has left me immobilized and popping prescription medicines to treat pain and infection.

Today, however, I can report that the pain is mostly gone, and I should be back to normal within 1-2 weeks.   So thank you for your patience during this interval.  You and all my subscribers are valuable to me, and deserve the best I can give.   

The Real Essence of Couples Therapy

In any relationship, whether or not you have a pre-nuptial agreement in place, there are still expectations from the other person, but these are largely unspoken, much less written down.  Practical matters, like how many kids to have, who contributes to the monthly bills, and own/rent living decisions all have a logical place in every relationship.

Its the UNSPOKEN expectations, however, that usually undo a relationship, even before it gets established.  Your ‘subconscious self’ – or ‘inner child’ – wants and needs things that cannot often be translated into language. 

These expectations must, therefore, go unfulfilled unless the couple is able to dig deep and discover what these needs and expectations actually are.  This has been the traditional role of couples therapy – to ‘referee’ the clash of unmet expectations.

You can also do this yourself, if both parties are willing.  The REAL secret to happiness in relationships is to first know yourself. Then and only then can you share the deep needs  or feelings you have with each other.  Without the ability to do this – especially a problem for men – then the spouse or partner is left only with guesses and doubts . . . dangerous for any long-term relationship. 

As I mentioned in my last installment, Soma and I are happy and loving the vast majority of the time for one simple reason:  gratitude.   Whenever I look at her, I always have the feeling inside that “I’m the lucky one – I got the better deal!!”  For her part, Soma tells me she feels the same way (but I still know I got the better deal).  

We both know we have faults and idiosyncrasies, but our ability to look at and acknowledge these hidden things make all the difference.  Why?  Because each of us have got the better deal! 

Again, its all about gratitude . . . and using the Logical Soul® as much as possible. 

The Ten Minute Solution, Part 2

Try this with your partner:  Each of you write down all the ways you feel lucky to be with the other.  Then spend 10 minutes reading this list to your partner. 

You can do this once or twice a week for maximum benefit.  The main thing is to communicate – both to yourself as well as to your partner – the fact that you actually NEED them in your life for happiness to be there. 

Sure, there will be complaints come up as well.  Save these for later.  The first step, though, is to establish those things that brought you together in the first place. 

Discover your happiness FIRST.  Then all possibilities will flow from this.

Thanks for remaining a subscriber,

– Michael