Dr. Michael Craig, Vol. 5, #36 – September 21, 2017. Published weekly (except when its not).
A Time For Change
I just got back from my Tennessee cabin where I spent some time with my friend Jason doing light chores and splitting wood for the upcoming winter.
While there, I had a chance to reflect on my older years, and marvel at the speed of change. Things are much slower in Coker Creek, Tennessee, than they are in the Big City of Atlanta, so I actually had time to reflect on becoming a charter member of “The Old Buzzard’s Club” with a few close friends.
It seems like only yesterday, for example, that a 20 Megabyte hard drive was enough to store every piece of software I could ever load. Now, super-fast operating systems eat up 20 TERAbytes like Pac-Man used to gobble up ghosts…
And that’s just in computing. Change is gobbling up every aspect of our lives, from dance and education to social media and slang. Used to be, the phrase “in a minute” meant that you were going to be there very soon. Now it means “like, forever.” Go figure.
Since we can’t really buck change, I figured the next best thing is to make a list of all the stuff we as older adults can do that younger folks can’t . . . or don’t want to. So, if you find more than 50% of this list relevant to your life, welcome to The Old Buzzards’ Club!
These are the 10 Things I get to do as an older American:
- Fall asleep on the couch. I used to watch shows all the way through. Now, I sometimes “mediate” unexpectedly.
- Keep stuff in TWO sheds. One is never enough after age 45. Besides, you never know when you’re going to need that skeleton key from grandma’s old house!
- Repeat myself. You forgot what you said, so you say it again, “just to be sure”…
- Repeat myself. Did I just say that?
- Play the Curmudgeon. This is the fun part about getting older . . . you don’t have to please everybody, especial those who are younger, i.e., “wet behind the ears.” Throwing questions at them based on your experience and/or common sense often work wonders to frustrate the hell out of phone solicitors and bureaucrats. “Now – what’s your name?” (Felicia) “Now, Felicia, have you ever had someone break a skillet over your head, then show up at your room in the hospital to try and sell you a new one…? Now you know how that feels to me…”
- Talk about my diseases. Your grandparents did it. Your parents did it. Now it’s your turn at the megaphone. Go ahead – tell the whole world about your bunions, your back pain and your kidney stones. Whether they want to know or not, they need to know! After all, it’ll be their turn someday to pass on this vast amount of knowledge prostate problems to their kids.
- Talk about the Old Days. “When I was your age, gasoline with 25 cents a gallon, phones were attached to a cord, and we were happy with 3 TV channels…”
- Write letters. The only ones who remember how to actually send a letter by sitting down, writing on paper, sticking the paper in an envelope, licking and mailing it, are folks born before 1985.
- Not worry about global warming. If the world temperature is rising a fraction of a degree each year, we won’t be around to worry about it 40 years later when its 5 degree warmer. Maine and Canada should be happy with more immigrants.
- Repeat myself. Oh yeah, I said that already…
Here’s to your Success,