[Ezine] 10 Things You Can Do When You’re Older

logical soul ezine


Dr. Michael Craig,   Vol. 5, #36 РSeptember 21, 2017. Published weekly (except when its not).

A Time For Change

I just got back from my Tennessee cabin where I spent some time with my friend Jason doing light chores and splitting wood for the upcoming winter.

While there, I had a chance to reflect on my older years, and marvel at the speed of change. ¬†Things are much slower in Coker Creek, Tennessee, than they are in the Big City of Atlanta, so I actually had time to reflect on becoming a charter member of “The Old Buzzard’s Club” with a few close friends. ¬†

It seems like only yesterday, for example, that a 20 Megabyte hard drive was enough to store every piece of software I could ever load. Now, super-fast operating systems eat up 20 TERAbytes like Pac-Man used to gobble up ghosts…

And that’s just in computing. ¬†Change is gobbling up every aspect of our lives, from dance and education to social media and slang. Used to be, the phrase “in a minute” meant that you were going to be there very soon. ¬†Now it means “like, forever.” ¬†Go figure. ¬†

Since we can’t really buck change, I figured the next best thing is to make a list of all the stuff we as older adults can do that younger folks can’t . . . or don’t want to. ¬†So, if you find more than 50% of this list relevant to your life, welcome to The Old Buzzards’ Club!

The List

These are the 10 Things I get to do as an older American:

  1. Fall asleep on the couch. ¬†I used to watch shows all the way through. ¬†Now, I sometimes “mediate” unexpectedly.
  2. Keep stuff in TWO sheds. ¬†One is never enough after age 45. ¬†Besides, you never know when you’re going to need that skeleton key from grandma’s old house!
  3. Repeat myself. ¬† You forgot what you said, so you say it again, “just to be sure”…
  4. Repeat myself.  Did I just say that?
  5. Play the Curmudgeon. ¬† This is the fun part about getting older . . . you don’t have to please everybody, especial those who are younger, i.e., “wet behind the ears.” ¬†Throwing questions at them based on your experience and/or common sense often work wonders to frustrate the hell out of phone solicitors and bureaucrats. “Now – what’s your name?” (Felicia) “Now, Felicia, have you ever had someone break a skillet over your head, then show up at your room in the hospital to try and sell you a new one…? ¬†Now you know how that feels to me…”
  6. Talk about my diseases. ¬†Your grandparents did it. ¬†Your parents did it. ¬†Now it’s your turn at the megaphone. ¬†Go ahead – tell the whole world about your bunions, your back pain and your kidney stones. ¬†Whether they want to know or not, they need to know! ¬†After all, it’ll be their turn someday to pass on this vast amount of knowledge prostate problems to their kids.
  7. Talk about the Old Days. ¬†“When I was your age, gasoline with 25 cents a gallon, phones were attached to a cord, ¬†and we were happy with 3 TV channels…”
  8. Write letters.  The only ones who remember how to actually send a letter by sitting down, writing on paper, sticking the paper in an envelope, licking and mailing it, are folks born before 1985.
  9. Not worry about global warming. ¬†If the world temperature is rising a fraction of a degree each year, we won’t be around to worry about it 40 years later when its 5 degree warmer. ¬†Maine and Canada should be happy with more immigrants.
  10. Repeat myself. ¬†Oh yeah, I said that already… ¬†




Here’s to your Success,